comfortable silences?

There we are – guests (as airlines like to call their passengers these days), waiting anxiously for the boarding announcement of the day’s first flight. There’s an uncomfortable silence in the air.

I go back to a childhood memory – to a family evening on the porch. Dad has a book and a comfortable chair, mom and sister are out in the garden tending plants with care, a visiting aunt has her embroidery going and I am happily perched on the floor with a few hundred building blocks in my hand. Silence reigns – but unlike in the first paragraph, a very comfortable silence.

Which brings me to the question on hand, which one would I rather have?

- Some restful music in the background, a drink and a good book in my hands – as I rest in the lounge playing back a hundred times in my head the “escalation meeting” that is on my agenda for tomorrow?

- The ability of the young world traveller travelling economy class to be serenely absorbed in a tome on world culture as she rests on her backpack – unmindful of the cacophony of announcements in a strange language and a foreign land?

What wins – Material abundance and a poverty of peace, or limited means but unlimited freedom?

Pondering over this, I walk to get some more coffee and come across a gentleman pushing sixty years reclining on one of the plusher sofas; eyes closed, a wide smile on his face. He’s dressed in an impeccable sit and on his tummy, lies a book half read – and Eckhart Tolle smiles from its cover.

There’s a lesson here I understand – and while my mind starts its quest for it, my body goes searching for the caffeine.

And then it hits me. This man is the answer. Perspective comes first and blooms into inner stillness.Thats all we ever really need,

First class travels – or for that matter a backpack and torn jeans – have nothing to do with silence whatsoever. From inner stillness comes comfortable silences no matter where you are – in a executive lounge or at the bazaar. Agree?

Narrow world-views?

Sensitivity to our surroundings is an amazing thing – at its best, its what I guess the buddha called awareness – an ability to look and more importantly appreciate things for what they are as opposed to what we think they are (or should be) based on our limited world-view.

I get this thought as I reflect upon an interesting little news item in the day’s paper of a woman thanking the ongoing T20 World Cup organisers for opening her eyes. It turns out that her husband had gone to watch a match and caught up in all the passion and celebration on the field broke out into a dance. She’d never seen him dance – or looking so happy – and she was expressing her gratitude to the organisers of this game for having enabled her to see her husband in all his natural playfulness – perhaps for the first time!

Here’s the thing – since “world-views” are thrust upon us all the time, the world-views become almost natural and it takes immense clarity for us to strip ourselves of this lens – looking at simplicity becomes very complex huh!

For starters, there are the “roles” we are expected to adhere to in everyday life. The roles come with their own set of attires, languages, acceptable social circles, acceptable behaviours and so on. If we don’t believe this, all it takes is a rewind to our school or college days (or first intern days) and contrast our behavior’s of today with those. Strip out the conditioned behaviour of both times (the suits of today and the excesses of youth!) – and what will remain is character – the person we were, the friends we kept, the passions in our lives. If you have managed to hold on to the unbridled joy from those years you are indeed an happy man or woman.

Which brings me to another quote from the day’s papers (some good coffee prompted me to stay with papers for a long, long time!). A music composer, whose quirky video on the pains of a “monday morning” have gone viral expresses how difficult it was for him to make that video. “We wanted to make the song funky and stylish and since people like us hardly know how terrible waking up to a monday feels like, we gathered the sentiments of our office-going friends, and then translated their expressed frustrations into music”. Really? You are a lucky man and that’s one cool video dude!

On which note, we can bring this blog to a closure with just one more crib on the “very necessary but evil” aspects of this “world-view” business. Some wise guy decided that since Feynman was a physicist, all his books belonged in the science section. To many of our fellow humans, science = plague, the only blemish in an otherwise fun childhood – and this worldview keeps the book out of their hands for ever. And if you haven’t read his books, they are gems – try this one – it expresses the joy of curiosity, of finding things out, a rare vision into a humorous character whose view is so much better than the “worlds”. And there cannot be a bigger tragedy than not enjoying such “sheer awesomeness” because someone with a more limited world view chose to pigeon-hole them elsewhere. You agree?

Sharing our cares

Are we really hardwired to share? Its a question that came up during a random chat with a friend – and I thought it was best to validate the hypothesis against extreme situations. If stuff works in the extremes, it works everywhere.

Lets take the “happiness” extreme first. An executive comes to know he’s won his first big deal, the nurse informs the nervous man at the hospital that the lovely infant she’s holding is his daughter, a chess prodigy wins his first tournament – moments of immense happiness and achievement. For all of the three people, their first impulse on receiving the news would not be to place an order for a ferrari or a jet, but to share their immense joy with those they love. If you are one of the loved ones, you can expect a message from the “happy” folks within minutes. So “sharing” does appear to be the primal impulse for “joyful” stuff.

Let’s look at moments of pain now. A toddler hurts herself badly, a man loses his fortune to an event of destiny, a wife loses her husband to cancer – momentous moments when tragedy seems to take over one’s life. In such moments, after the initial denial and resistance phases, we seem to give over ourselves to a higher power – and hopefully grieve/ suffer in some peace. The toddler runs to her mother for comfort, the man beckons his god for help in reversing his fortunes and the wife probably reaches out to her spiritual guides for lending her strength and understanding during these trying times.

Thus, in moments of pain too, we seem to reach out to share. Of course, while we share our happiness with the intention of having the joy multiply, we offload our worries to those stronger than us hoping to diminish the pain. Either way, the theory that we are hardwired to share seems to hold good.

That said, why do so many of us feel stifled – the sense that we have humongous cares and no one to share them with? That we have the sense of being the unluckiest folks on earth – as evidenced by the numerous long faces, sad shares on facebook (with no responses) and the many long lonely sessions at our overflowing bars?

Perhaps, the issue is more fundamental. Not having a way to share (talking about it, meditating, journalling, dancing, crying, laughing – whatever) seems to be the biggest concern. Drowning sorrows in intoxicants doesn’t seem to be helping.

Even more importantly, not having someone to share our emotions with (a friend, a colleague, a family, a god, a belief system) is a big worry.

The redressals of course are very simple – the implementation and the will to implement it is where we seem to have the challenge. All we need to do is perhaps lighten up a little, stop taking ourselves so seriously. And perhaps perfect the skill of becoming mindful of our world through these new eyes – there are tons of people waiting to be helped and waiting to help as well.

If we can perceive reality dispassionately, we will participate compassionately. No two ways about that.

Love, hate and indifference

This weekend, I was lazily leafing through one of the all time great books (walden) when I came across this quote:

    ‘A man is rich in proportion to the amount of things he can afford to leave alone.’

When you think about it, its a profound quote. It doesn’t say you are rich if you amass wealth, it doesn’t say you are rich if you have richer relations, bigger industries, more land or even more knowledge. Interestingly, it also doesn’t say you don’t have to have all these things either. What the quote says is that the “have part” is irrelevant – you may or may not have all the goodies in the world – in either case you aren’t rich. Its the ability to leave them alone that makes you rich.

The more I think this through, the more the clarity on life I seem to get (and I may not even have got Thoreau’s meaning right in the first place!). One question that all the reflection seems to lead to though is “how many things do we leave alone” today.

A quote I saw on twitter promises to throw some light:

    The opposite of love is not hate, its indifference. If you hate someone, you still care!

Now, things that we love, we will probably leave alone (we may know it as “giving our loved ones space”) – for if we truly love someone, we want “them to be their true selves” and not “who we want them to be”. If your kid loves soccer and is good at it,no matter how much you want him to become a lawyer – you will let take up soccer and the world will richer by one soccer champion.

Its the hate part that I think its tougher to leave alone. When you think about it, most of the time we don’t leave the object of hate or ourselves in peace – and that is why our lives are so poor. Think about a simple incident where someone cuts ahead of you in traffic. Blood boiling, we drive our car abreast and abuse him, he probably returns the favour in kind. We get home but cannot enjoy life – the incident fuelled by hate keeps doing a looped playback in our heads!

I did an inventory today of how much of my time was spent on stuff that I hated – and perhaps would be better being indifferent about. A quick check and I realise if I could just knock this one trait into my system, I probably would gain many, many extra hours of peace everyday. Perhaps this is what sadguru jaggi vasudev meant – he seems to be recommending we loosen our personality (of which the hate is an integral part!) to allow awareness to flood in. After all, its perhaps nicer to be empty and host a god than be full of hatred and host a demon inside? And our families, friends and colleagues I am sure would love that as well?

Which “Hero” are you?

Here’s today’s revelation – Everyone wants to be a hero. Everyone.

Some of us want to be “happy achievers”. Some of us prefer to be “endurance heroes”.

Happy achievers look to follow optimistic paths – Robin Sharma’s 50 new rules of work are all the motivation they need to lead our lives.

Endurance heroes believe their life sucks, and their heroism comes out of being able to endure the suffering. To become bigger heroes, they need more trying circumstances – and life humours them by becoming one big worry to endure.

I guess we have a choice to make – and the choice we make defines who we are and the friends we make. Ultimately both are but stories we tell ourselves – the question is whether we’d prefer to star in an adventure-filled-comedy or an award-winning-melodrama!

Time for each of us to take our introspection lens and ask ourselves: Which hero am I? And is this what I want to be?

Green?

Everything seems to come in multiple hues these days – and it is left to us to make meaning out of what we see.

This rather diverting thought came to me while gazing at the landscape over a long drive. Take green for instance, what comes to your mind?

GOING GREEN:

You know what I am talking about – grow more plants, burn lesser fossil fuels, walk more, save the planet (or is it save the whales..) – that kind of stuff. Does green bring this to your mind (with a bonus of maybe michael jackson and his angst-filled “earth song?”)

“ME” GREEN:

Read as “notes of green with presidents’ photos promising to pay the holder dollars”. Do you see the monetary “whats in it for me” in everything? If yes, looks like a good century to live in eh – where we rank people on wealth and have the richest beam on us from magazine covers?

The monstor green: Yep, we are talking about jealousy eloquently paraphrased by the bard as “the green eyed monster”. Where we coveted the green bucks for ourself in the earlier one, we look askance at someone else who has seemingly achieved what we covet in this case! This monster is ferocious – lets hope he visits us less or not at all!

Enough of musing for one day.  You may want to notice something about the above catagories – one is about the sense of “me”, another about the sense of “you” and a third about the sense of “we”. The third seems easier somehow huh?!!

Musings on perfection – From a commentary on the Heart Sutra

The audience is shifting its legs anxiously, “hey, where’s all the spiritual stuff, the wisdom and so on this blog used to churn out – have these topics gone on a long vacation?”

OK – here goes, let me pull some stuff from a wonderful book by Ken McLeod named “An Arrow to the Heart: A commentary on the Heart Sutra”.

The answers are pulled verbatim from this book – please dive into it for more such contemplative thoughts.

Our question – When is perfection attained?

Perfection is attained not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away…

Our question – What are the 6 perfections?

For generosity, nothing to own

For ethics, nothing to hide

For patience, nothing to fear

For effort, nothing to achieve

For stable attention, nothing to wander

For wisdom, nothing to know

Endpoint – Contemplate a while on these – the are sure to bring in a shift in awareness …and if you love this, check out Ken McLeod’s website – its truly awesome.

“Kindle”ing Nostalgia – finding precious treasures in the digital aisle

Yesterday, while browsing our endless digital aisle (also called amazon.com), I came across two priceless items – they make me so happy (and nostalgic) that this will be the topic of today’s post.

First up, I discovered several versions of Peter Cheyneybooks in the kindle bookstore. Peter Cheyney for those who are not aware was a very popular “thriller/detective story’ writer in the early 40s. It was my father who introduced me to Cheyney’s books while we were strolling one lazy summer holiday through Mumbai’s old lanes browsing through used-book stores – the only ones that stocked such items. I loved the book – a racy thriller with catchy dialogues and super heroes on par with James Bond – minus of course the blood and the gadgets, but awesome page-turners. Over the years, I have popped into several libraries and book stores in search of cheyney’s books (they are that good believe me!) – but for a library in Norwich, UK and an obscure library in chennai, India – havent been very successful. To find several of his books (and kindle versions meant I could download them right away) was a treat – and also brought back pleasant memories of a precious childhood moment. Thank you kindle team!

That got me greedy and I started looking for other favourites. Would they have asterix and oblelix comics online too? They didnt have that – but had something equally attractive. MAD Comics are online now as well. MAD comics represent humour, satire and artistic fervour at their very best – as anybody who would have read them in their childhood would attest – and to find them in all their glory was the equivalent of a “home run” in a World Series game…. For starters, I picked up “MAD about OSCARS” which featured parodies on lots of movies (The godfather became The Oddfather, A beautiful mind became A booty-full mind(!), The sixth sense became The Sick sense(!!) and of course The Lord of the rings became Bored of the rings). And the credits belonged of course to MAD’s famed “usual gang of idiots” and featured Alfred. If you haven’t read any of MADs works before – pease do get started with either the ‘MAD about Oscars” or their parodies on Super heroes – they are guaranteed to have you in splits.

All this goes to prove that Chris Anderson was right – the digital world does have a long tail (aka an endless shopping aisle) which allows us to pick items not just on today’s blockbuster list, but on our evergreen favourites list. And to this long tail, here’s a salute – thanks guys.

Employability and context – deeply connected today

As we made our way slowly through one of chennai’s traffic-infested “Information Technology” zones, a friend observed that IT was probably the one industry where experience was more of a handicap than a boon. Companies increasingly wanted smart programmers at lowered costs, and middle managers were losing out.

On reflection, I think we ought to amend this statement a bit – today experience is no longer the USP it was and skills and attributes are what will decide who is coveted and who’s job is at risk. Relevance and currency of experience are more critical today.

This trend seems to be getting more pronounced as we serve younger customers across the globe.

A programmer who does not intuitively understand the social and mobile propensities of his customer can just not make a great product, no matter how good his programming skills may be.

And managing a team of millennials does need some insight into their value systems and the willingness to accept them without passing judgement. Pass judgement and you’ll find your job relegated to history – no matter how many management degrees or books you acquire.

Whenever we head into such discussion, we hit a wall – the naysayers believe it to be but a mitigation that will ensure we are employable for a little longer. “The situation is loaded against the senior folks” they voice again. I truly believe they’ve got it wrong – when managers and programmers get into the skin of their customers/business (ie get the context right), they thrive (not just “survive”). Of course it does require some childlike curiosity (or beginners mind as the zen folks say!).

It seems to have succeeded for many. Bill Gates seems to have made the transition from an uber-competitive corporate to a globally compassionate NGO pretty seamlessly – and as his annual letter indicates his earlier experience is helping him bring in some cool insights.

Nicholas Negroponte and Ward Cunningham aren’t getting any younger, but they continue to lead technology vision with flair.

Steve jobs (do look at his Stanford address) wasn’t a teenager by any means when he led Apple through several iconic products that changed The company’s fortunes and in many ways the world for ever.

True Gates, Negroponte, Cunningham and Jobs are superstars – what about the rest of us? We too can perhaps make the shift in our little (if not their earth changing) ways. Contribute to a kickstarter or wikipedia project/topic of your choice and experience the power of virtual crowds. Or get onto twitter and discover the immense power of 140 or so characters – brevity and wisdom at the same time. Or take a course at udemy on a new project management model (say the lean startup) and discover the magic of agility. Or join your team on their Facebook page and just soak in the fun.

I guess that’s my thought for the day. If I were to tweet this, it would read “be irreverent, not irrelevant. Focus on context, skills and behaviours. And enjoy change!”….. Or some such thing……..

Ten years of WordPress and interesting trivia from blogging history

Ten years and counting. Happy birthday WordPress.

Quite an achievement this in today’s technology-fuelled world where a calendar year is in itself a very long time.

The occasion merits a little investigation into the roots of WordPress. Here’s a gem of a blog which brings home the nostalgia in shovels – it’s an early blog postwhere founder Matt Mullenweg ruminates on an appropriate name for his project and cofounder Mike Littlecomments – and WordPress takes off. A moment in blogging history huh?

I’ve always found that an understanding of the folks behind momentous events is interesting – so who are these guys?

Check out http://ma.tt/which interestingly claims Matt’s “unlucky in cards” but he seems to have been lucky everywhere else. Mike little’s website proclaims “word press specialist” – and we really need say any more? So much for the WordPress guys and happy birthday again.

I guess its also time to celebrate some special moments in blogging history to wrap this post.

According to nymag.com. the first blog ever was created by a student (Justin hall) in 1994.This blog (http://links.net/) is still active and updated – and Justin is now with a mobile phone entertainment company. Go take a look at history today!

And then in 1997, John Barger shortened the phrase “logging the web” into “weblog” and is therefore a father of sorts to the blogging world. His weblog http://www.robotwisdom.com/ is still online – but please have a few hours handy before browsing it – it’s mammoth in scope.

A couple of years later, Peter Merholtz shortened “weblog” to “blog” (apparently he called it “we blog” on the sidebar of his wonderful http://www.peterme.com/). So here’s father number 2 – from a naming standpoint. And this is a wonderful blog to read too – and very well designed at that.

The year 1999 was also special for one other reason it turns out: a team of three friends ganged up to create the world’s first free blogging service (blogger.com). And to that we owe you many, many thanks – blogger team. Now they are a part of google and from their “about” page we understand they are a little big bigger but just as focused on helping people find their voice on the web.

But my favourite blogging story relates to this anecdote relating to a lady named Heather Armstrong. Hers’ was the first recorded case of a person being fired for blogging (yes!) about her workplace on her personal blog http://dooce.com/ (and yes dooce.com is still very much alive and current). As a result, we now have a new english word “dooced” which the urban dictionaryinforms us means “getting fired because of something you wrote in your blog”.

On that note, let’s look forward to many more years of blogging adventures (and hopefully we aren’t dooced in the process!).